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Don't let anyone tie you up unless you trust her absolutely. The trust must be threefold: that she won't hurt you (unless you want her to, in which case see Sadomasochism), that she will untie you if you ask her to, and that she knows what she is doing. Nor should you tie someone up unless you are absolutely, 100% sure she wants you to and you have some knowledge of knots and safety measures. If part of your fun is to struggle and resist, you and your partner should pick a 'safe word" to signal that you are not enjoying yourself anymore. Many women use "red" to mean stop, while 'pink' signifies "less, please." Establishing these words leaves you safe to yell "no, no, no" to your heart's content. Take time to learn something about bondage before adding it to your sex life. Experiment with different materials and different sorts of knots.

Avoid silk; although it seems sexy, it allows knots to tighten dangerously. Make sure that two or three fingers can fit between the restraint and the body of the tied-up woman. Don't tie someone's hands over her head for extended lengths of time, and don't tether someone so that she's hanging without her feet firmly on the floor. Keep a pair of scissors nearby so that the bonds can be cut quickly in case of emergency.

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When using handcuffs or other locks, keep the keys close at hand. There are many positions in which someone can be restrained. For instance, some women prefer being tied spread-eagled lying down, while others enjoy standing up with their hands tied behind their backs. Take the time to find which options you both fancy. There are many reasons a woman might cry, ranging from overcoming past abuse to the sheer emotional beauty of making love. We may cry, during sex and at other times, and not know why we're doing so. Some lesbians cry because for years they feared that they would never to get to touch another woman. If the woman you are with cries, simply hold her and love her.